Show VS Tell in Writing Your Book
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “TELLING” (NARRATIVE STYLE) AND SHOWING
One of the surest ways to liven up your story is to look for passages where you’ve TOLD when you could have SHOWN.
Consider the following:
Debbie looked at Halley’s growing belly with a wistful smile, remembering all the dreams she had of being a mother and a writer, being able to work at doing what she loved while she raised her children, and regretting putting it all aside early on.
Between Brett not caring, and her mother’s criticism, she’d thought her dreams were foolish. Now, years later, she’d been given a second chance at those dreams. And the last thing she wanted to do was let her daughter make those same mistakes.
Now compare with the following:
Debbie looked at Halley’s growing belly with a wistful smile and took her daughter’s hand. “You know, Sweetheart, when I look at you, I remember all the dreams I had at your age. Back then I thought I could be a mother AND a writer. I thought I could do what I loved WHILE I raised you. But God almighty, how I regret putting all those dreams aside.”
Halley squeezed her mother’s hand. “Why’d you put ’em aside, Mom?”
“Because every time I shared those dreams with your father, he’d just yawn and change the subject.”
“But what about Grandma? Didn’t she support you?”
“Are you kidding? All your grandmother ever did was criticize my writing. Between her and your father, I just figured my dreams were childish nonsense. Well, you know what I’ve finally realized? Your father and grandmother were wrong about a lot of things. And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let you make the same mistakes I did, Halley!
While both passages conveyed basically the same information to the reader, the second passage does so in a personal, more visceral way. It allows the reader a deeper, more personal glimpse inside the heart of the characters. Showing through dialogue provides the reader with a chance to witness the characters interacting with one another. We see them being themselves. It’s like the difference between seeing a movie, or having someone tell you about it.
So when proofreading your manuscript, look for passages where you’ve used exposition. Wherever possible, do your best to replace telling with showing. You’ll be glad you did.
